Focusing on the positive

I have realized that my attitude has not been the best lately. I could make all sorts of excuses but really I've just been in a funk. I heard this audio selection from Grace GEms that really put it into perspective for me. http://playmp3.sa-media.com/filearea/81308211683/81308211683.mp3 REally life is too short to go about harboring resentment for little things. If Christ could look upon his executioners with forgiveness then shouldn't I be able to get over my frustrations over rudeness and inconsideration? I can through Christ who strengthens me.

I've realized too that my quiet times have been erratic and not as long as I'd like and this has affecting things for me too. If you think of it you could pray for me. The time for the new baby is short and I'd like to be positive for everyone's sake.

The Meanest most lame Mom ever!

I guess it's my turn to be one of those! Today my dd called me lame because I won't let her pick out my next set of checks. I told her she could pick out her own set but now I'm lame because I only pick out lame things.

My ds's eyes were completely bloodshot and he was flopping all over the couch due to fatigue and I sent him to bed at 8:30, thus I am the meanest most unfair mom ever.

They say I live to give demerits....hmmm....it would be a different story if they would do what they need to like put their stuff away. I know I've been a horrible role model for that one though so I guess I can't blame them too much.

Anyway, I guess I've officially crossed over to the parent who doesn't know anything category. I'm sure it doesn't help that my dd programs my cellphone for me and picks out my avatar. I probably could do these things if I had patience but I don't. She told me the other day that she so enjoyed shopping with Nana because she has taste in clothes and I don't. Ouch! I bit back the comment in my head about letting that be a priority over other things! Oy!

Parenting is an unusual journey. It starts out being so physically demanding that you don't know which end is up because you're so sleep deprived and exhausted. It transitions into nights of full sleep for a while and then goes back to sleepless nights because you're wondering where they are.

I keep hoping that by doing things for them they won't think I'm so bad. Yesterday Taylor got to invite a friend swimming, I played several matches of boggle with Dylan, and I played horse with Austin. I'm under the delusion that by doing these things it will produce happy children. I now know all you can do is the best you can and in the end the good will outweigh the bad in their memories. I'm not perfect and neither are they.

On the bright side Taylor made me a bracelet, Austin offered to help with Liam, and Dylan took Liam roller blading. I guess maybe I should be the one to focus on what's right and not the occasional bonehead comment that comes out of their mouth. Lord knows I had my share!

Dealing with Discouragement

I'm having a tough time this week. I've been working very hard to purge, organize, and get ready for 4 weeks now but it never seems to be enough. I'm constantly swimming on a tidal wave of junk and feel like I"m spinning my wheels. My one son I have disciplined every day for leaving stuff out and talking back but it doesn't seem to be helping....he's still scattering his things everywhere. I found a cloth napkin in someone's lego box and there were pool toys all over the blue room (the ones no one plays with). I feel like gathering it all and starting a bonfire in my front yard! My neighbors would like that, especially when someone called the County on us for stacking plywood against the house and hoarding tree limbs in our front yard! Urrr!

One of my sons is sick and just wants to sleep all day, definitely not typical for him. So we're stuck at home and my other children and whining about having to stay here with nothing to do (oh yeah, what about all the toys we have that you never play with?) I know this phase will pass but it is frustrating.

I'm trying to set up a class with homeschoolers (all of them contacted ME to say they were interested) but when it came time to commit I haven't heard from many of them. This is why I gave up trying to have the blooming class in the first place because I can't stand the, "oh yeah, I want to take that class" and then they never show up. Last year I had 4 people sign up for sewing class and then NONE of them showed up. One did offer to pay for it anyway but then never sent the check. Oy! It makes me not want to initiate anything with these people...oh yeah, I didn't they came to ME!

Okay, I know I'm hormonal and tired so things aren't looking up for me right now but that will change. When I was praying about it I felt like the Lord was saying, "You're so focused on what everyone's doing wrong instead of what everyone's doing right." Oops, okay. I guess I'll need help with that one!

Mr. Big Eyes

Liam does this funny thing now that we call big eyes. He tries to force his eyes really big and then waits for us all to laugh. These pictures don't capture it completely but they give you an idea. He's such a ham.

Last night I told him to tell Dylan good night and he said very clearly, "Night, night Dylan!" and gave him a hug. It was so cute. He says a new word every day now. He also pulls up my shirt to see baby Gavin and rub my tummy. Little does he know how much his life is about to change in about a month. For now he's just blissfully unaware.

To do list before the baby comes:

• Here's a list of all the things I want to do in the next three weeks.
  
  1. Make 3 more small and 3 more large diaper covers
  2. Plan school year
  3. Do study guides for reading
  4. Set up French class Tried but failed
  5. Set up sewing class Ditto
  6. Make closet organizer
  7. make dress for Taylor
  8. Make leotard for Taylor
  9. Make diaper bag
  10. Organize blue room and donate all the stuff I've accumulated.
  11. Buy 2 more bum genius newborn diapers, 4 smalls, and 4 medium.
  12. Make 10 liners/stuffers for diapers
  13. Finish shorts for the boys (get blue thread from Melanie!)
  14. Set up schedule for school year.
  15. Most of all, cover the year in prayer!
  Toodles!

Biking fun!

Believe it or not it is really cool today. It's actually too cold to go swimming. I suggested that the kids take a bike ride and take Liam in the trailer too. They had a great time although Taylor said she felt like a noodle afterwards. I'm jealous that they can go because I can't right now. I love to take the kids biking. Maybe in another two months?

I can't get over this weather though, it's way too nice for this part of the country in the middle of August. We had a picnic lunch today too where Taylor made finger sandwiches, chips, and fruit. We had a blast just enjoying the day the Lord made and each other. Right now the boys are making mud pies outside. Austin's trying to see how big of a mud lump (uh...brick) he can make. Boys! They're so dirty.

Who loves Spongebob?

Taylor of course. Actually all my kids love Spongebob. We own two different seasons of it! Oy! This is a Valentine mailbox Taylor made of the guy last year and she won a prize for it. I took a picture of it before we threw it away to the landfill (I can only take so much Spongebob myself!). It was part of our purge the kitchen week!

Here's a funny quote: "There are people for whom the glass is half full. For some the glass is half empty. Then there are guys who say, 'That glass is dirty, I ain't drinking that!'" That's something that they say at Bill's work about somebody there. We laugh about it.